Portugal:- Studio version

The last studio version from the songs for 2007 is here. At long last!

http://www.box.net/shared/ls7rm3m5od

Ukraine:- Studio version

If you're seriously head-fucked then you can find the Ukrainian entry below in studio quality.

It's mental and hideously infectious... I'm having a bad feeling.... very bad.

The title change is to avoid the confusion that they had sung "I want to hear you say... Russia goodbye" in the national final version. Apparently they never did such a thing!

Oh they wouldn't have done that to secure a big vote from the anti-Russian lobby in Ukraine. Would they? Hahaha...

They've said "lasha tumbai" is Mongolian, but according to the Mongolian embassy in Kyiv it ain't!!! Who knows!

Crazy!

Вєрка Сердючка - Dancing Lasha Tumbai

http://www.box.net/shared/4fpm1tztdl

Flying the UK flag (but not for me)

The British national final (and last one of this year) was held last night in Maidstone. Five of the six entries were well sung and whilst not all of the five would have been great ESC entries, I could have supported them.

Sadly the worst act won. For those that still don't know that was Scooch with their song Flying The Flag (For You).

They can't sing, they can't dance, they have zero song-writing ability. They have used every camp, gay innuendo in the book. They represent nothing of the current UK music scene. They are plastic pieces of nothing.

To say I'm embarrassed is an understatement.

I feel sorry for Cyndi (who sang her heart out) and what Wogan did to her at the end. He said that she'd won, when in fact she had come second... however we never saw the result of the televote and it all seems a bit suspicious to me.

I feel sorry for Big Brovaz (who were fucking excellent and took defeat graciously) whose career is now ruined by the idiotic British public.

I don't feel sorry for Justin Hawkins, who proved what an arrogant bastard he is by storming off the stage in a strop.

I feel sorry for the rest of Europe who will have to endure this nonsense on 12 May.

I feel sorry for the country that comes 11th in the semi when we have squandered our automatic place in the final with this.

Wogan should be sacked, how he decries "johnny foreigner" and makes people not take their opinion seriously is beyond me. The opinion of the 41 foreign countries was that Big Brovaz should be first with Cyndi second. Terry made people think that the opinions of the other 41 countries don't matter when ultimately that is ALL that matters. The BBC should pull out of ESC and give it to Channel 4 or take a year's break and evaluate the way they select the British entry.

We deserve nothing more than 0 points with this in my opinion.

And to all those Brits who will decry another abysmal UK result in Helsinki, they should take a look back at the MYMU on 17 March and think... well we only have ourselves to blame.

Scooch - Flying The Flag (For You)

The mp3 is here:- http://www.box.net/shared/ac0gkqvfei

Netherlands:- English version

Here's the English version of the Dutch entry.

It's called On Top Of The World. Edsilia may end up being on top of the world as this sounds so much better in English and knowing she a can belt out a tune, she should be in with a fighting chance of qualifying.

Edsilia Rombley - On Top Of The World

http://www.box.net/shared/032hlomgnh

Ireland:- Studio version

Below you will find the studio version of this year's Irish entry They Can't Stop The Spring.

They couldn't stop the squealing pig woman on vocals either, despite many valiant efforts at trying!

Dervish - They Can't Stop The Spring

http://www.box.net/shared/668rovdl4r

Albania:- English version

So here's the 3 minute English version of Albania's Eurovision entry.

It's called Hear My Plea...

It's still shit.

It's quite a desperate plea n all and will no doubt fall on deaf ears as everyone'll've decided to take a toilet / coffee / beer / fag / magazine / pizza (delete as applicable) break within the first 2 bars.

Frederik Ndoci feat. Aida - Hear My Plea

http://www.box.net/shared/xaj1h6pdf8

Russia goes for song number one

After an internal selection, Russian TV has announced who paid the most money to represent the world's biggest country at Eurovision.

The winner of this dubious honour is a girl group called Serebro. They have little live singing experience, but that don't matter because they've got big financial backers.

To be fair to Channel 1 Russia, they do seem to be picking some decent commercial eurosongs of late and this one's no exception. It's a bit of a dance-pop crossover and reminds me a little of Ooh La La by Morandi.

Yeah this is pretty good and one of very few real pop songs in this year's contest, which'll help it to stand out... now let's just wait and hear how the girls are live.

Cepeбpo - Song Number 1

http://www.box.net/public/ty4mg8gxib

Iceland:- English version

The Icelandic song to be performed by Eirkíkur Hauksson will be performed in English in Helsinki and will go under the title of Valentine Lost.

Personally I'm not surprised this munter lost his valentine... I'm aghast he even had one to begin with, but there ya go, proof that there's someone out there for all of us!

Follow the link if you dare....

Eiríkur Hauksson - Valentine Lost

http://www.box.net/public/alt6f11s0a

Swedes are the worrying kind

Sweden's six week long national final came to end on Saturday night in Stockholm. Ten songs competed in what is known in Eurovision circles as THE selection show.

The winner was The Ark with their glam-rock-disco disaster The Worrying Kind. I guess it's fair to say that I loathe this kind of '70's retro stuff, but I bet there's tons of people, all over Europe, who will love this.

I just have to hope now that the UK don't select Justin Hawkins as I don't think I'd be able to cope.

The Ark - The Worrying Kind



The mp3 is here:- http://www.box.net/public/6addne903d

Czech out those little women

The Czech national final took place in Praha on Saturday night as those Bohemians (and Moravians) selected their début eurosong.

Nine entries took part. The best one had earlier been disqualified, but I don't know why. All nine songs had previously been hits on the Czech charts so at least they have some measure of popular support.

The winner was the most well known act:- hard rock group, Kabát. They've been going over a decade and I guess it's fair to say they have some stage experience. The lead singer's voice reminds me of a lot of OI bands... especially Screwdriver.

It'll come as no surprise then that the song's a rock song. It's ok. I don't mind it for the 3 minutes it lasts.

Kabát - Malá Dáma (Little Woman)

The mp3 is here:- http://www.box.net/public/dr6krb6s6e

Portugal dance their way to Helsinki

Portugal's national final was held in Lisboa on Saturday night. Ten songs took part and the public voted for the winner. As ever in Portugal, it wasn't a very inspiring batch of songs.

The winner is by a young girl called Sabrina and she has a pleasant enough way about her, with a bit of a see-through skirt going on to entice the straights!

The song's basically a call for people to dance with her, and if she keeps opening her skirt like that she could well be inundated with menfolk... it's a typically Portuguese Eurovision entry, which means a) it's sung in Portuguese, b) it's about 100 rpm's too slow for what it needs to be, c) there's some heavy brass going on, d) it's all very sugary, e) it's really a bit naff.

However, if that's your idea of a wet dream then you're gonna love it!

Sabrina - Dança Comigo (Vem Ser Feliz) (Dance With Me (Come On Be Happy))



A live mp3 is here:- http://www.box.net/public/yqdpaqbq0a

Beating the Hungarian blues

After holding an internal selection, here's the Hungarian entry.

Having taken a one year break from the mêlée last year, Hungary have returned with a load of old shite! It seems that they'll not be bettering NOX's 12th place in 2005.

I really don't get why they've gone for this gravel voiced woman singing something very worthwhile I'm sure, but instantly forgettable. The main criteria for a good eurosong, of whatever genre, is it MUST, MUST, MUST have a hook, otherwise how the fekk is anyone gonna remember it to vote for you?

Nah this ain't doing it for me. Not one iota.

Magdi Rúzsa - Unsubstantial Blues (which kinda says it all really!!!)

http://www.box.net/public/0oz7bb5eau

Shake up a Turkey

On Friday Turkish TV revealed their entry for Eurovision, which they'd chosen internally.

You'll remember that the singer Kenan Doğulu had already been picked some months back when I posted his most recent song of the time.

His Eurosong sounds nowt like that!!

Hahahahaha....

I'm torn on this one... it's modern yes and has a nice (subtle) Turkish element to it. Kenan's also doing his best to be Justin Timberlake, but I dunno... is it me or is the chorus like really really really really repetitive?

Listen and judge for yourself.

Kenan Doğulu - Shake It Up Şekerim (Shake It Up Sweetheart)

http://www.box.net/public/9b466ue8eq

Women rule in Germany

Last Thursday evening in Hamburg, the Germans chose their song for Europe and David Hasselhof was nowhere to be found!!

Three songs were in the running, but this swing-lite number swung its way into the public's heart and will be representing Europe's most unnationalistic country come May in Helsinki.

The singer's clearly very good at what he does, with a nice smooth voice that suits this kind of music really well. He carries it off well n all, making it all seem very effortless and he looks the part with his trademark hat. Yeah I quite like him.

The song's nothing original, but the style is very original for Eurovision and I reckon we could see Germany back in the top 10 this year. I think the style is too narrow in the audience it targets to make it the winner, although you never know. I predict a solid result, without setting the scoreboard too much alight.

Roger Cicero - Frauen Regier'n Die Welt (Women Rule The World)

The mp3 is here:- http://www.box.net/public/kgrqjzuff9

Serbia's prayers are answered

Serbia held their Eurovision selection on Thursday night in Бeoгpaд. This is the first time Serbia will participate as an independent country after the last vestige of the former Yugoslavia, Montenegro, parted company with the Serbs last May.

Ten songs were in competition to be the favourite of both the public and a jury. The winner was this rather ugly duckling going by the name of Marija Šerifović. She's got a better voice than face thank God. The song's about a prayer and isn't quite as dull as it sounds. It's a bit of a big ethno power ballad and is likely to get all the ex-Yugoslavs wetting themselves to call in and vote for Serbia. As regards a Yugoslav peace anthem, I prefer Macedonia's effort... just the lyrics in that are a lot cleverer than in this, but I can sit through it happily enough.

You can watch the video below and work out why they decided to dress Marija as a Laura Ashley sofa.

You can then piss yourself wondering why they decided to decorate the act with all manner of nonsensical acts going on behind the poor woman. The camera operators are obviously having a laugh though as they try, but fail, to decapitate the dancers at various crucial points during the song's proceedings!

Mapиja Шepифoвић - Moлитвa (A Prayer)

An mp3 is here:- http://www.box.net/public/n4jf187luk

Danzing in Ukraine

Last Friday, Ukraine held their Eurovision final in Киiв. Seven acts battled it out to be the televoters' favourite.

It's not often I'm rendered speechless, but I afraid with this I am rendered so.

Bєpкa Ceдючкa - Danzing

If you possibly bear to download a live mp3 it is here:- http://www.box.net/public/73ox4z1sqr

Armenia:- Studio version

Here's the studio version of the Armenian entry... not too different to the live version to be honest, but less people cheering!

Hayko - Anytime You Need

http://www.box.net/public/744f4323ke

Spain:- Studio version

Here's the studio version of the Spanish song.

NASH - I Love You Mi Vida

http://www.box.net/public/3efibjnn26

Get a life Austria

Austria announced their Eurovision entry yesterday after Austrian TV held an internal selection of both artist and song.

The singer's a guy called Eric Papilaya (very Austrian surname!) and he took part in the last season of Austria's Pop Idol competition. Therefore, logic says, he should be able to hold a tune.

The song's called Get A life - Get Alive and is being promoted as the song of the Vienna Life Ball 2007. For those who don't know, the Life Ball is an AIDS charity that holds a masquerade ball every year in Vienna (usually on the same date as the song contest). It raises money for various AIDS charities including Elton John's foundation. It is, therefore, supporting a worthy cause.

It's a pretty uptempo and rocky affair, and pretty enjoyable. It kind of reminds me of stuff by Bon Jovi and he's very popular across Europe... especially in Spain so this could get a fair share of the Iberian votes. The song was originally written for an Anastacia single, but it got dropped when she got cancer and nothing ever happened with it... it would've been interesting to hear Anastacia's take on it.

This is ok, Austrian TV have certainly made a bit more of an effort this year after they took a break last year.

A decent mp3 of the song is here:- http://www.box.net/public/r8zzvpbktd

Luv een ze Frensh way

France chose their song for Europe on Tuesday just gone and it's an absolute work of genius. There were 10 songs to pick from and the public televoted for their favourite. It was a pretty eclectic mix of R'n'B, rap, ballads, French-Arabic and the one that won.

The winning group is called Les Fatals Picards and the song is called L'Amour À La Française (Love In the French Way). Where it strikes a stroke of genius is that it's partly sung in a mixture of English and French...

The lyrics tell a story where part of a sentence is in English and the rest in French... and it rhymes! Except this isn't the only genius part of the song.

The English is actually in Frenglish and the French is in Franglais... confused? Maybe, but it's fantastic and if you understand both English and French this is a very clever song along the lines of some of the stuff Manu Chao has come up with (check out Le Rendez-Vous by Manu Chao to see what I mean).

Great choice France...

Les Fatals Picards - L'Amour À La Française (Love In The French Way)

There's an mp3 here:- http://www.box.net/public/tknvm2z3hi